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A young preacher was asked by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side burial service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns. Eventually, a half-hour late, he saw a backhoe and its crew, but the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.
The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place.
Taking out his book, he read the service. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.
As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: "I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain't never seen anything like that."
Humor and Jokes thread
Moderators: Cal_Gary, T. Highway, Monkey Man, robi
Humor and Jokes thread
'52 M-37 "Old Blue" still in 11enty-bazillion parts
'52 M-37 "Rusty Red" parted
'52 M-37 "Rusty Red" parted
Driving Award
John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
John thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
Judi, sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him -- he's a smartbutt when he's drunk and stoned."
Brian from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!!!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"[/b]
John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
John thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
Judi, sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him -- he's a smartbutt when he's drunk and stoned."
Brian from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!!!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"[/b]
'52 M-37 "Old Blue" still in 11enty-bazillion parts
'52 M-37 "Rusty Red" parted
'52 M-37 "Rusty Red" parted
